Hidden Treasures, Hidden Pleasures

Floating around somewhere in this house, there is a playing card.This is not your average playing card however, oh no! it's quite special. You see this card features a picture of a naked man and his ahem, man bits. Why do I own such a playing card you ask? Well, I'll tell ya.

At my friend Jessica's bachelorette party the theme was everything pink, and everything penis. Penis cake, penis ice cubes, penis balloons, penis playing cards; it was quite a display. I saw these cards and just could not resist, and so, I pocketed two. I knew I'd feel guilty for being the reason Jessica's sister no longer had a full deck of penis cards, but, at the time that did not matter; I had to do it.

The plan was to take these cards and hide them somewhere in my boyfriend's belongings, preferably in a place where after finding the cards, public humiliation would be imminent (am I evil?). I hid them inside his bag, between the pages of the book he was currently reading. Before he could find them however, I told him about it, changing my mind about the whole public humiliation thing (see, NOT evil!). And from this began the "Hide The Penis Card Game". I hide it and he finds it and we laugh, and then he hides it and I find it and we laugh some more. It's really a lot of fun, you should try it! It's gone back and forth a couple times I think, but now he's hidden it somewhere and I can't find it. And it's driving me crazy. I told him tonight that I STILL had not found it, and he was quite surprised..."YOU haven't found it YET?" Which made me think it was in some kind of place where I really should have found it by now. "Did you bury it deep in my underwear drawer? Or is it in my laundry basket or something? You know I take forever to do laundry..."

And he said?

"Nope".

So where the heck is it? How can I sleep at night, knowing that somewhere lurking in the shadows there lies a ween? I can't, that's how....great.